by Owen Morris This weekend was a break from the Shuto League, which meant the Cru were able to accept a flattering invite from the SanTama representative team. We were freshly attired in the newly arrived blazers that Gibbo had organised so the boys were looking glorious, and with more than 90% of the blazers being suitable clothing for a bipedal primate, it’s fair to say that Gibbo had done us proud with the order. It was great to see Logan back in the team, fresh out of a Hong Kong prison cell, and it was also great to welcome new boy Elliot to the team: we’re not sure which prison cell he had come from, but given that he managed to scare the opposition fly-half into falling over just by running at him, it must have been fairly notorious. Speaking of prisons, Dylan might find himself having to answer a few questions from Tokyo’s finest after murdering the opposition 13. Seriously, that guy got pounded harder than the inspiration behind Franks ‘VII’ tattoo. Even Logan must have felt bad for the guy, because he enacted vigilante justice on Dylan; running straight for him with the ball and smashing him into touch with enough force that Dylan’s nipples are now probably as wonky as his latest conquest’s. Surprisingly, that wasn’t the most amusing of Logan’s antics during the game, because at one point he dropped the ball, politely exclaimed ‘whoops’, picked up the ball again and promptly mashed the opposition flanker. The match itself got pretty spicy at points, with a few fights breaking out here and there; Joe drop-kicked a guy, Foster got beaten up by a dwarf, and Seb had to be forcibly restrained from going Falklands on the ref. Due to the out-of-the-way nature of the match, Reece had decreed that the match fees should be put behind the bar at the nearest Hub. Although I wasn’t there for it, I have been told I should include a couple of things in the match report; the first being ‘Amy Winehands’. Now I don’t know what the rules of ‘Amy Winehands’ are, but I’m guessing it’s where you tape two bottles of wine to your hands and then see how much heroin you can take before you die. Die, or lose your bag in a taxi, I’m not sure which. The other thing was ‘Reece falling down the gap between the train and the platform’. That seems pretty self-explanatory. And pretty funny. I probably should mention that we won, which was a great victory. Not just because we had beaten the best that the SanTama league had to offer, but also because of how keen the referee was to allow the other team to win. Normally, it’s bad form to complain about the referee, but when he penalises you for knock-ons when the opposition is in possession, or penalises Joe for a high tackle when the other guy was jumping for the ball, or keeps the clock running for an extra 5 mins when the opposition are within 1 score of the win…anyway, we won, and it felt great. See you for the next one boys. 321s were… 5 points – Logan; 4 points – Joe; 3 points – Dylan; 2 points – Yuki; 1 point – Elliott/Foster 14725533_1472790699416198_7382540995008672056_n 14732187_1472790882749513_2156913828869287448_n 14633669_1472791169416151_7545439713960594016_o

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